LOVE, FEELINGS, AND MODERN RELATIONSHIPS
Is old-school love still possible today?
We are living in a world where because of endless dating apps and social media platforms, our looks are judged before anything else. The idea of “old-school love” feels like something of the past. Instead of heartfelt letters, we have short text messages. Instead of gradually blossoming intimacy, we have situationships and swipes. This generation feels out of touch with the true meaning of love. The dreaded “u up?” text has replaced late night class where the most intimate moments were once shared. When we think about what old-school love is, we may think back to the love our grandparents might have experienced.
Back then, technology hadn't taken over how we communicate. People knew nothing about each other until they met in person. The excitement of the unknown was what kept the spark alive. Meeting your partner naturally was the norm, and maybe that is how it still should be. There were fewer expectations, “icks”, and less comparison.
There was no such thing as “ghosting” or “breadcrumbing”. Just a genuine connection felt between two people with nothing getting in their way.
There is a problem with swipe culture and it’s not necessarily the people, it’s knowing that there are hundreds of options to choose from, which brings comparisons and judgements. A larger choice does not bring a better connection, it leads to shallow interactions and emotional burnout, making it harder to commit to these endless options. It would be unfair to say that relationships today are ingenuine and shallow, but the leading up to a genuine connection has become unnecessarily messy and unnatural. Many believe that technology and social media has ruined romance, but the evolution of technology has been inevitable since the internet’s creation. It is our attitude towards it and the way we use it that is the issue. There is much more pressure now to find the perfect partner. As well as that, it’s easy to compare yourself to celebrities with their “dream body and lifestyle” that we supposedly want. This unhealthy outlook on dating has tarnished the search for connections today.
Old-school love is so romanticised in movies and media that it is, perhaps, becoming a desire for our generation. There's something intoxicating about the idea of giving or receiving flowers, hand-written love letters, and falling in love without any distraction. In a world where you're expected to show your most perfect self on your profile in hopes to get a story like or a match, the relationships feel disposable and ingenuine. We crave this sense of excitement, and a meaningful connection found somewhere other than online. To tune into this feeling may take effort but there will be reward. Finding that person that you genuinely like, not someone you think you should like may be tricky, but it may be the only way to relationship success nowadays. Putting work into someone by personal gifts, notes and gestures can be a stepping stone to that romantic feeling we yearn for. A connection without distraction, judgement, comparison or performance.
Old-school love may be romanticised but that doesn’t mean it can’t be achieved.
Writing by: Shulagh Morris
Copy Editor: Ieva Dambrauskaite
